Sanity's Edge
by StrainedSanity
Summary: Santana and Rachel. Santana's cousin is in Mckinley and she is there to stir things up. Santana has gone through a lot that no one is aware of she is far more broken then she will ever be willing to admit and Rachel wether she knows it or not is cementing the damage. I suck at summaries so please read to get the full gist of it. R&R.
1. Maricella Lopez

Sanity's Edge

A/N: Het guys so this is my first Glee Fanfic and thats mostly cause of how busy I have been but the Idea is one I have had for a while. This is a Pezberry fanfic so expect a lot of that. and it is rated M for the later chapters. The story does have a lot of AU however the main concepts remain the same. Any questions ask i guess haha.

Summary: Santana has been through more then most can handle and god knows she is strong enough to handle it but everyone has it's limits. you can only take so much before you reach sanity's edge she just never imagined it's be Rachel Berry that would bring her there. Rachel Berry has always dreamed of saving Santana but to do that she must learn all of her secrets. Can she handle those secrets or will she break and even if she can. Is that enough to save someone as broken as Santana Lopez. I suck at summaries so please read o find out more.

Santana's Pov

"Abuela" I walk into the kitchen to see my grandmother slaving in front of the old stove like she always has. A big smile and dancing to the quiet salsa tunes she has playing lightly in the background. I look over to my cousin Maricella who had walked in with me, she was smiling enjoying the sight of our happy grandmother just as much as I was. "Hey abuela me and mari just came for breakfast before her first day at Mckinley."

"Hola mijitas, Santana I made you the pancakes you like with bacon and a plate of scrambled eggs and Mari I made you bacon and eggs con a bit of hash-browns I cooked up. That sound good?"

"That sounds amazing, I'm starving!"

"When aren't you starving, Mari all you ever do is eat."

"You would be too if it wasn't for your psycho coach." I laugh and take a seat besides my cousin while we both watch as my grand mother sets our plates. We both learned not to try to help her, she is independent like that, wants to take care of it all by her self: she's a lopez we are all strong enough to do it that's for sure.

"It's good to eat Santana it keeps you strong and alive. Don't let anyone try to push a plate away from you. With out food you'll never reach my age with my strength. So eat up girls"

" I hope I can be half as amazing as you at 60" I say sincerely.

"yea me too abuela you are kinda amazing" Maricella speaks

"Gracias I love you guys now eat up Mari you have to go to school with all those white kids with their money and pride."

"Hey abuela we may not have money not even Santana anymore but abuela we have pride, we are Lopez and damn proud of what we have. Broken or not we are fighters."

"True that Mari" I smile at my cousins words. Nobody knows strength like us three in the room, My world was picked up and crashed on top of me. Life has chewed me up spit me out and has thrown me to the pavement like great shit. But I still get up, I still stay strong well.. well atleast I let them believe I am. It's the Lopez way we aren't as strong as we seem but we won't let anyone know that.

"How do you two like living together?" "I can't believe you didn't come here I know things are hard but I'm always here."

"We know that but we are fine abuela we will be ok."

"Have you talked to your father Santana?"

"No.. No I haven't abuela I don't think I will for a while. Look we have to go. We're gonna be late."

"Mija I know we are strong but you need to let go sometimes or it's going to bury you, the both of you."

"We'll be fine abuela, I'll see you for dinner." I grab the last bit of eggs fill my mouth with them and run out the door with Mari trailing behind me. No one know how bad the incident with my family is all they know is, my father hates me and my brother is dead. To be honest I think those are the only things that matter anyways.

"Does she know?" my cousin asks randomly as we back out of the heights and into Lima.

"Know what?"

"You know Santi, that you play for my team?"

"How was I 'pose to know that was what you were talking about? And does she even know what team you play for because I doubt it" I feel my self boiling so I take a second before continuing "Look M abuela is all I have I'm not gonna risk that for a few confused feeling I had a year ago. Ok?" "I'm not like you I'm fine, I'm straight and I'm going to make her proud."

"Hey! Calm down Santi because guess what I am completely fine too, and I will make her proud... She.. she just loves us so much so I figued if she could accept you then theres hope for me too. "

"There is nothing for her to accept I was stupid and confused but I'm not anymore now no more mentioning that crap ok?" " I have enough in my plate, now come on we got a school to own" I smirk and she gets the hint while she visibly builds up her walls again..

"Lets do this Prima"

As we both walk in I bite back the laughter crawling in the pit of my stomach when everyones mouth drops. Maricella is a hispanic bomb, we look alike we act the same, I knew she was going to cause this, I mean there are two of us now these losers were scared enough with one.

I see Brittany and Quinn approach us and I warn Mari to be nice to them.

"Hey Santanna, Hey Santana number two"

"Hey Britt-Britt, this is my cousin Maricella, she's in Mckinley now."

"Hey" My cousin says in a refreshing calm tone she quickly turns her attention to Quinn as if she is almost testing her. Teasing to see if she will speak first Quinn's eyes size her up and turn a hue I never seen on her before. It was enlighting to say the least. She then opens her mouth to speak.

"Hi, I'm Quinn, If your Santana's cousin I'm sure I can expect you to be a bitch"

"Well considering you are her friend I'm sure I can assume the same."

"I wouldn't call us friends, I love her but we have a mutal war.." I smirk knowingly, my and q have always had this power struggle.

".. For dominance?" my cousin tests.

"I suppose you can say that"

"Well you have just declared it with one more person."

"I'm guessing that would be you"

"you guessed correctly.. up for the challenge"

"Hardly a challenge" and with that Q turns on her heels and walks away leaving me immpressed and surprised and Mari with a smirk the size of texas.

Rachel's Pov

The girl is gorgeous. She is a smile and a prayer wrapped up in one broken but perfectly strong package. Santana Lopez will be the death of me. She breaks me but builds me up and even though the whole world seems to believe that she can carry the world on her shoulder I can see how tired she is, how broken and weak she has been. I wish I could hold her and let her be the one able to repair for once. I Rachel Barbra (Man-Hands) Berry am in love Santana Maria (Satan) Lopez.

But today, today was different. She walked into school today happier then usual. It was cute, Her smile reached her eyes and her laugh was contagious. Not sure why she was so happy but I saw a girl beside her. The girl had a intense resemblance to my beautiful brunette, must be family of some sort. Part of my is screaming for me to greet her, I mean we have class together it wouldn't be completely strange. Plus I'm naturally curious and i really want to know who this stranger is. On the other hand I can be setting my self up for complete humiliation and every time I attempt to speak to Santana I get all confused on what I want to say and end up sounding like a disaster. Ah what the hell it's not like this will make a difference she is going to make fun of me either way, might as well kill my curiosity.

"Hello Santana how are you this morning?" "and Hello are you new?" I extend my hand which Santana quickly slaps away.

"Midget this school isn't that big, I'm pretty sure you already know she's new"

"My name is Rachel not midget and I was only being polite." the new girl looks at me strangely before speaking

"Rachel?.. as in Rachel Berry?" I'm confused as to how she knows me but nod anyways. She extends her hand this time which i happily shake. "Maricella.. Maricella Lopez, I'm Santana's cousin and yes I'm new. Actually would you mind showing me around, Santana is pretty bad at it." I can't help the smile that grows. She is knew maybe it would be good plus having a friend in this place wouldn't be so bad the fact that she's Santana's cousin is only a bonus.

"Yea, of course" I notice santana seems to be bothered by this whole idea. I mean why wouldn't she be her cousin rather have me "manhands" show her the school.. maybe this isn't so smart. "I mean as long as Santana doesn't mind"

"Why would she mind?"

"I don't if you wanna stoop down that low go ahead." santana spits as if it was a venom burning her tongue

"Great let me see your schedule.. oo I must show you the choir room. I'm assuming you are joining Glee club. We need new members and your cousin is in it so you won't be alone. Oh I'm pushing it aren't I." "Ugh I always do that."

"Hey slow down speedy ha I would love to join your club come on show me the choir room" "Bye Cuzzo" She smiles at me before whispering something to santana and then allowing me to drag her to my favorite room in this whole town.. well my second favorite.

Santana's Pov

I noticed the smirk painted on Mari's face when she found out who rachel was. See Rachel was my confusion last year. It wasn't much it's just I couldn't stop thinning of her and knowing Mari's situation I told her about it but that was before I realized I was over reacting. I mean I must have been over reacting I'm straight. I can have any guy I want of course I'm straight... "I'm Santana's cousin and yes I'm new. Actually would you mind showing me around, Santana is pretty bad at it." What is she doing?.. I can't stop the fire from burning my eyes turn to slits and I can feel my blood boil.

"Yea, of course" "I mean as long as Santana doesn't mind" Fuck maybe she noticed. Stay cool Lopez stay cool.

"Why would she mind?" She looks at me with that shitty ass smirk I would rip off her face if I could.

"I don't if you wanna stoop down that low go ahead."

"Great let me see your schedule.. oo I must show you the choir room. I'm assuming you are joining Glee club. We need new members and your cousin is in it so you won't be alone. Oh I'm pushing it aren't I." "Ugh I always do that." I can't help but smile at her rant. It's adorable.. Fuck what are you saying Lopez this is Manhands Berry she is disgusting nothing at all adorable.

"Hey slow down speedy ha I would love to join your club come on show me the choir room" "Bye Cuzzo" Her smile grew as she leaned into my ear "If your so straight i suppose you wouldn't mind me having a go.. I mean you have so much in your plate. I wouldn't want the truth weighing you down too" SH leans away and grabs Rachel's hand while the eager girl pulls down the halls. I can't help the sinking feeling my heart is feeling right now..


	2. Fuck I'm Gay

**A/N I'm only updating so soon because.. well I'm just really in the mood however please do not expect updates this quick all the time. I'm on break so it's a bit easy now but soon I start up work again and school so once a week might be max for me. But.. Yea... If you like the story or have any suggestions please review and let me know what you think.. I'm the type of person that lives off feedback esspecially alil constructive criticism. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee or the cast. All I own are my Idea and Maricella Lopez.**

**Alot of this chapter is just to set everything up and so you can get a little more into the characters heads, esspecially Mari since she's someone new. Well I hope you Enjoy. :)**

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_**Chapter 2: Fuck...I'm Gay..**_

Rachel's Pov

So as it turns out Maricella has not only first block with me but also has free period, lunch, and gym with me. Those last three however are things I also have in common with Santana. Well Lunch was awkward to say the least. I went to my normal table sitting with Kurt and Mercedes but like always I'm end up sort of secluded. Like being alone even when people are around. Well anyways Maricella came in and knowing Santana was sitting a few tables away with her cheerios and the jocks admiring her every move I never thought Maricella would even realize I was there. However she did and sat down right next to me while Santana threw daggers.. I don't know how I always wind up pissing her off and if that wasn't enough after lunch Santana asked her cousin to go with her for free period but she chose to be here in the choir room with me instead. Sure my life was hell before but for some reason I feel a whole new Santana being released and due to her record I'm pretty sure that only means bad things for me...

The choir room is empty as it always is at this time. I guess thats why I love coming in here during my free periods. Normally I would sneak into the auditorium but lately some stupid freshmen drama class has been hogging it.. Well I wouldn't take Maricella there anyways, it's my place you know? Like the only place I can be myself with no judgements, no pressure. Since we got into the choir room however I've grown quite fond of Maricella. Did you know she plays piano? And not the mediocre type I learned off the internet either, years of study and devotion type of talent and her hand flows so effortlessly that I can't help but love it. The type of talent I am completely infatuated with. I guess being amazing is some sort of Lopez trait.

"What are you thinking of?" She asks, her eyebrows scrunched together like she's trying to break some sorts of cryptic code.

"You're really talented" Her smile makes me break out in one too. I'm not use to feeling so safe around someone, but the more I'm around her the more my brain gets infested with thoughts of her cousin. The way Santana's eyes hold more emotion then Maricella's and how her smile is so much more pure. The way her laugh makes everything just feel better. Santana's beauty is her strength not just her hips, tight abs, or her amazing voice but the way she carries herself, the pride that keeps her together, the love she has to give, and Maricella she just can't compare.

"You really think so?" I nod and smile while taking a seat on the bench beside her. "I heard your quite talented yourself"

"Really? From who?"

"Santana, Says you're the most amazing singer in Ohio. Is that true?" Santana said what?... Maybe she heard wrong because I only heard Santana try to compliment me onc and it ended up in her choking on her words and another insult.

"Probably"

"Modest too huh?" We both break out in a laugh as I begin to play with the keys in front of me and she hums along. I however stop when I feel her intense stare.

"Look, I know Santana is rude to you, but that's just the way she is don't hold it against her." Interesting but.. a lie she just hates me.

"Santana doesn't like me very much. But it's fine really, I understand. There's not much to like"

"That's not true, I've known you for less then a day and I already found things to love. Santana sees how amazing you are, Thats why she acts how she does but don't let that bother you ok? I know my cousin and shes going through a lot?"

"Don't worry I'm use to it"

"What Santana bothering you?"

"No people being jealous of my talent.."

"Seriously?" I can't hold it anymore my signature laugh trickles out and I nearly drop off the bench and onto the floor.

"No not seriously" I try to stifle my laugh "I was talking about Santana's attitude towards me" Now shes the one laughing but quickly she stops and smiles before saying..

"You are really pretty you know that?" for some reason I can't stop my blush from appearing.. but I quickly try to hide it.

"You are insane".. "but thanks for going against your cousins thoughts on me and giving me a chance"

"No problem Rachel but I'm not going against what she thinks of you, I'm here right now solely because of what she thinks of you and the complete belief I have on Santana's judgement of character" and with that she walks away. Just leaves just like that with not one bit of an explanation.. What does that mean? Does she think I'm a freak too? Is she playing some joke on me? Or do I have Santana all wrong?... ERRRR why did she say that? There is no way I'm going to be able to focus in my music theory class now...

Santana's Pov

After lunch I got this intense head ache, I couldn't think I couldn't eat and Rachel was taking part of the majority of my mind.. so I head back to Lima heights adjecent. Mari seemed to being getting along fine at school with out me and honestly I just couldn't stay. The stairs heading to our apartment are thin and always give me the chills but the inside. The inside feels just like home. My grandmother helps us pay it off so we had a bit left for decorating and it helped. The moment I get in I head towards my room and sit on my bed. After a second of searching I pull the small box out of my drawers and start looking through the pictures. After the accident anything Carlos related went into this little white box. When I need him I know exactly where to go. Sometimes I write him letters and place them in here or sometimes I just talk to him. He never talks back of course but I know he is listening and that's enough for me.

I Guess I fell asleep. The door slams and I walk into the living room to see a just arriving M.

"Where'd you go?, You weren't in gym." I can't believe she is even talking to me after the mess she pulled today. I mean I'm sure I have no real right to be angry but fuck she has no right to call me out like that. Even if me and her are the only one that know she did so.

"Fuck you M you don't get to come in here acting like you didn't do anything"

"What are you taIking about? I thought you didn't fucking like her, Didn't you say it was a confusion, so what did I do wrong? Plus I'm just trying to be her friend, She is really cool"

"Really cool?.. And the last thing you care about is being anyones friend. You are screwing over your own blood"

"Oh my god what are you talking about Santana I am trying to fucking help you!"

"help me!.. Help me with what Mari?"

"Santana you are not confused, you're scared and I get it, I do but living like this, it's going to fucking kill you"

"Holy crap Mari I'm not gay and I don't give a damn about Berry, Damn I just think playing with her to get at me is wrong"

"If you don't give a fuck about her why is this bothering you so much"

"It doesn't bother me?"

"No?.. are you sure Santana because right now all I see is a hurt little girl begging to be rescued" "and I can't do it this time Santi I can't rescue you unless you open your fucking eyes!"

"I don't give a fuck about the fucking midget you wanna screw her then go ahead Mari have her cause no one in that whole fucking school wants anything to do with her."

"Oh please you made her name social suicide to make sure no one went near her. The girl is a straight ten and you know it.. ok her sense of fashion is equivalent to that of a grandma in the 50s but you know how hot she must be under all that nasty and you know all those social hungry bastards would be too stupid to look past that. Santana Rachel is hot and you know it"

"I'm not fucking like you Mari I'm no fucking dyk-" her hand slaps me so fast all I felt was the sting.

"Don't you dare disrespect me in my own fucking home S, I know you are dealing with a lot and I'm fucking sorry but this girl can help. Let someone in. just be happy with yourself cause I am sick of you lieing to your self"

"Man fuck you stop acting like you know me"

"stop acting like I know you? are you serious? If I don't know you who does? Your parents?.. cause look around you hun they aren't around and unlike mine they chose to have it that way. I AM trying to help, I know what it's like to be stuck Santi I grew up just as fast as you did, trust me I know how scared you are but if you giver her a chance. Santi if you fucking give anyone a chance you'll feel better" Truth is nobody knows me like Maricella well besides britt but Brittany would never call me out on my shit like Mari. I can't love Rachel, it would change to much.I'm not scared of much but I been through enough to know I should be terrified of change. I try to fight back the tears but that gets kind of hard when you are so preoccupied trying to fight back the truth.

"I can't be gay" tears stream out my eyes and my throat gets dry."My brother just died Mari, My dad can't look at me my mom doesn't care if I'm breathing or not and I just can't do be"... "Abuela would be so ashamed, and Mami and Papi, Mari they wouldn't ever even think of looking at me again shit Abuela might never look at me again. Mari I can't be gay"

"Then just be her friend Santana I'm not telling you to marry her"

"You know I can't be her fucking friend Mari!"

"..Because you're gay and have the hots for her?"

"UGH!.. you're fucking ridiculous"

I escape into my room and slam the door. I quickly mold myself into my sheets... "Fuck.. I'm gay... and I have a thing for manhands.. Where the hell was my sanity when this happened.. Ugh.. Rachel isn't even gay why am I torturing my self Rachel is straight anyways.." the tears come back burning as they fall. "Fuck Mari and her fucking truth.. I was much better off living a lie because even if I am gay, Rachel fucking isn't and even if by some miracle she was into chicks she would more likley go for M then the girl who tortured her since third grade"... And thats how I fell asleep... thinking about Yachel, crying and talking to my self.. That's it I am completely loosing it..

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**Well thats all folks what cha think?.. ;)**


	3. Cousins

**Ok so this is by far not my best chapter and might be a bit dull but it lays down a lot of things that has to be said. And I do want you guys to get in Maricella's head for a litle because although the story will revolve around Santana and Rachel, Maricella will play a large part and have her own little story line. Hope you guys enjoy and give me suggestions or comments, I like those haha. ENJOY!.. I may post the next chapter later today or tomorrow as an apology for my absence. :)**

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee or the cast. All I own are my Idea and Maricella Lopez.**

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_**Chapter 3: Cousins**_

Maricella's Pov.

It was two o'clock in the morning when I heard a scream piercing from Santana's room, I shot up from my bed and ran to her as fast as I could. Ever since the accident Santana has been having these nightmares.. The type that knocks her wind out and leaves her shaking. By the time I got to her room she had woken up, tears streaming and she was clutching her pillow for dear life. After the first time I learned not to ask about it; I just hold my cousin allow her tears to fall and once her breathing evens out I lay her down and decide to lay next to her.

"Mari will they ever go away?"

"Santana I promise you I will try my best to get them to go away ok?, maybe talking to someone about it will help Santi" I feel bad for all the pressure I been putting on her but my life hasn't been easy either and I know people like us don't open up to just a familiar face, we need someoneworth the risk.. I just hope Rachel is worth it for her because she really is her last hope. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I haven't been making it easier, I should of just let it be, I just don't think Rachel deserves what you do to her just because you are hurt. Get me prima?"

"Yea.. you're right she doesn't, Why do you care though, I mean you just met her?"

"I don't know Santana I just do, Santana she looked scared to talked to you when she walked up and I had to help her from teasing today at lunch and I heard she got a slushy to the face in gym.. Santana she just she seems so full of hope and pride why are you killing it when you admire it just as much as everyone should?"

''I don't know I have so much going on and I just don't see how she could help." Santana sits up and looks at me for the first time.

"Who's Finn?"

"Eww the man-child?"

"I heard she's going out with someone named Finn"

"They got back together?"I noticed her face fall and her walls visibly built as her back straightened out. "They broke up, he's going out with Quinn, or he's single I don't know nor do I care but she couldn't be that stupid and go back with him."

"San I'm just letting you know what I heard"

"Whatever thats what straight girls do they go out with idiots"

"Straight girls?"

"Mari I think I'm gay..." a laugh escapes her as I try my best to fight mine.

"You're gay?.. seriously?. I had no idea.."

"Fuck you"

"Ok, Ok maybe I had an idea you could be." The familiar lopez laugh fills the room before I decided to speak again. "that doesn't save you from idiots tho San." "Girls are just as idiots as guys, with you as exhibit A."

"Fuck you why am I an idiot?"

"You think Berry's straight."

"What are talking about? She isI You just said it your self you might be dating Finnocence which is beyond straight it's also stupid. He's such an asshole to her"

"And you're not?" Her eyes darted to the floor, it hurt her and I knew it would but she had to hear it. "Look I know it's different but I just want you to realize if she really is as amazing as you feel she is you need to start treating her as so, all your bullshit aside. And she was checking us out for like a whole minute before she even approached. And she was looking hard."

"She's straight, it doesn't matter it could be comparing or some shit"

"Have you asked her?"

"Are you fucking kidding me, me Santana Lopez just casually asking the school freak about her sexual orientation wouldn't work unless it's followed by an insult or I'd be the new school creep.

"Fine I'll ask you'll just be in the premises, I'll let her know I'm gay and slip in what she is you know the whole, 'I'm gay, does that bother you thing'"

"Um M Rachel has been raised by gay dads I think it'll be kind of hard for her to have anything against that" She laughs at my idea falling part however Rachel doesn't know I know that so it should still be fine.

"Rachel doesn't know I know that."

"True.. so what time is it I exhausted"

"it's three thirtyish, I'm going to sleep"

"Mari?"

"Yea Santi?"

"Do you think it's my fault too?" It kills me to know a crazy night could change so many lives. Manny died that night but Santana she broke. I try to meet her eyes, of course I know it's no body's fault but those who pulled the trigger.. but how does someone convince some one of that if they are already convinced of the opposite.

"No, Santi I was there too, it wasn't our fault"

"I took him M I took him, I told him it would be ok that it'd be fun Mari I lied to my parents.. I killed my little brother Mari how do you look it to my eyes and not hate me." her breathing begins to scatter and out of nowhere I hum trying to calm her down the way my grandmother use to. Ofcourse it worked.

"It was a crazy situation no one could had predicted. He loved you he would never blame you why do you think it's your fault. Tio and Tia they are just hurt but they are wrong Santi I promise ok?" I know she doesn't believe me but she nods anyways and curls into the sheets.

"Can you hold me tonight just so I can sleep" I wrap my arms around her to provide the security she needs. I'm not dumb I know soon the grasp of her cousin won't be enough but it'll have t do for now..

"I love you Cuz, lets sleep, I got a Berry to catch in the morning"

"Excuse? You don't wanna go there M as much as I love you.. I'd snap your neck." She lets it out with a chuckle that lets me know i'll get my cousin back. Rachel would give me our Santana back.

"I thought you said she was straight?"

"We about to find out" we both smile at that one. I'm so tired I have a to fight to keep my eyes open but while we are on the whole gay or straight conversation I throw the question that's been on my mind all day."

"So Quinn?"

"What about her Cella?"

"Is she gay?"

"Quinn? Quinn "The Christian Princess" Fabray? Gay?" Her howling laughter is really starting to piss me off.. "Go to sleep Mari before you hurt yourself."

"Fuck you.. you thought Rachel was straight, What the fuck do you know?"

"I know Quinn hun, Rachel's a virgin, Quinn spent last yr with a baby bump.."

"Oh and you never fucked a guy?" "Doesn't make you straight now does it?

"Fuck you sleep before your ass ends up on the floor,.. oh and Fabray? Soo straight, it's scary" She can't be I know how she looked at me, she just can't be.. Maybe she just hasn't even noticed, Maybe she needs help realizing. I feel the smirk as it forms on my lips.. I am a bit giving..


	4. When a Rachel meets a Mari

**Rachel in this chapter will explore a different side of herself however that doesn't mean the rachel we love is gone but she is definitely off exploring that's what new friends like M can do to a girl like Rachel. Hope you guys enjoy this chapter there will definitely be more soon. Thanks for all the follows and reviews I really do appreciate it and like always if you have any comments let me know**.

**Disclaimer: I do not own glee or the cast. All I own are my Idea and Maricella Lopez.**

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_**Chapter 4: When Rachel meets Mari**_

Rachel's Pov.

My favorite part of the day has to be the morning. The sun crept through the cracks of my shades and lit my room with a glow otherwise impossible to accomplish. After my morning workout I continue my routine by heading to my closet and picking out the usual, before I was interrupted by my phone. I am not the type to normally picked up an unfamiliar number but I also don't receive much calls. It's early must be important right?..

"Hello" there is a long pause before I hear a slightly familiar voice.

_"Hey, you are a hard one to keep a track on Kurt gave me your number, I was wondering if I could head over to talk to you before school? Don't mean to be a weirdo but theres something I have to talk to you about and Santana said you only live a street down from her, Oh it's Mari by the way"_

"Oh Hi, I suppose that should be fine what would we need to talk about?"

_"You'll find out once I get there, I promise it'll be good for everybody but don't bother getting dressed yet because you'll be changing" _Please let it not be what I think.. I thought she wasn't like this.

"If this is some cruel way of making me hate being home too please just leave me alone"

_"what are you talking about Rachel"_

"The home bound slushy attack why else would I need to change my clothes?"

_"Hey look I'm going to talk to Santana no more slushies ever ok? And because you are hot and it's about time you show it." _She's going to do what?.. She is insane if she truly believes that she can put two years of damage to a stop.

"This is Rachel bird beak Berry are you sure you are talking to the right girl."

_"You had a plaid mini skirt on yesterday right?"_

"Ummm yeaaa?"

_"Then yea I have the right girl, I have a bag full of the hottest clothes I own and we are going to show the lame ass school who's in charge now whether my cousin wants in or not."_

"She kind of runs it already.."

_"She only thinks she does when you run something you get what you want; she has yet to get it."_

"Will you?"

_"Yep and so will you". "I'm here open the door for me."_ I run down stairs and there she was the second Lopez. The girl I can see my self being very good friends with. II'm still a little nervous due to the history I have with girls like her but she seems genuine enough. I click off my phone before letting her in.

"Were you driving while you were talking to me" when she nods I contemplate a lecture but instead decided she's a friend I want to keep so I lead her to my room...

"Wow Santana said it would probably be pink with unicorns and I got blue with a night sky for a ceiling... I approve Tiny.. can I call you that? Tiny?"

"As long as it's not to make fun of my stature."

"If it was for that I could come up with a name less cute don't you think?" A blush rushes to my cheek, she's no Santana but she is definitely of the same family. "So what is it that you want?"

"huh?"

"I said that when we rule the school you can get what you want.. what do you want exactly? She lays clothes on the bed and continues to go through the bag she brought in with her. "Try these on. Who would you love to impress?.." I grab the clothes and go in to closet to change leaving it cracked open to allow the conversation to continue. Who would I love to impress?.. Wow well she looks a bit like you only a lot better and she has your last name. She's a sex goddess, gorgeous, beautiful raven hair and eyes of a gold..

"No one really."

"Nobody? How about Finn?" Finn? Why in the world would I want to im- oh yea finn the boy I'm suppose to be obsessed with. Does this girl believe every rumor she hears?

"Finn's not exactly my type anymore." I take on look at my current outfit and smile to myself. "How about this one?"

"You look..."

"I can change I just, I thought, ugh I should of known I couldn't pull this-"

"Shut up you look fucking amazing, God Santana's gonna die when she see you" I can't help the eyebrow that quirks up. "Um. Well you know she wouldn't be the hottest girl in school anymore and to top it off it's you who tops her.." Maricella says not completely convincing.. I wonder if this would actually affect her?..

"All I have to do is straighten your hair and it's a closed deal" Maricella is the biggest smile on her face I couldn't say no. I can't lie I'm pretty excited myself.

Santana's POV.

After Cheerio practice I called Mari to see if she had gotten to the school yet but the bitch ignored my call. So I took my normal spot on the bench next to my favorite blondes and waited for something exciting to happen.

"Can we feed the ducks later? Ooo and after can we have a sleep over I miss those, Oh and maybe lord tubbington can come this time?" Britt looks at us with hope and innocence covering her eyes. I quickly give Quinn a look that lets her know we can not say no to this offer.

"of course Britt-Britt maybe your place that way Lord Tubbington can join?" If we can't stay their we are screwed, see normally sleep overs are at mine but no one knows I had been kicked out so thats a definite no.

"Yay!, you'll come to Q?"

"Yea I'll be there. It'll be like old times B" The smile on Brittany's face makes us both break into one. It's the one thing I love about Britt she can always make me smile. It's why I'm so protective she has what I was forced to loose at a young age her innocence and I'd kill anyone who crushes that.

"Woah Sanny who's that with Sanny 2.0" I look over to where Britt was pointing and see M with the finest piece of ass I have ever seen. Now yes I am well aware I sound like a complete ass right now but anyone could see this girl was just wow. How did Mari pull this off already, I haven't even seen this girl around, and I would of known.

"I don't know be, I can't see her face." "Q do you know her?" I look at Q and she seems a little distracted so I push her to bring her back to us. And she shoots me one of her HBIC looks and that's my cue to repeat. "Said do you know that girl Q, the one with my cousin?" I see her eyes squint and focus before I decide to do the same.

"Holy crap that's Rachel!"

"No way tubbers! There's no way" I look at the girl as hard as I can to the point I think she felt my eyes on her because both her and Mari turned and walked towards us. The moment I saw her face my throat went dry. Holy shit it's true. What the hell did Mari do?! Fuck she is so sexy and those legs, Damn even in jeans those legs drive me insane.. Fuck is she talking to me.

"Santana?, Santana?!"

"Hmmm? Sorry Manhands, since when did you start dressing like a teenager and not like my grandmother."

"Your grandmother has skirts like mine?" Did she just talk back to me? Oh my puerto rican god why do I find that so hot?! And no she doesn't imagine if my abuela in a mini skirt eww.. But rachel in one.. now that is how god intended them to be utilized. I find my self smiling at my inner thoughts while I her Q speak with amusement tripping on her voice.

"Wow did you grow balls this morning or what" Q says with a smile playing on her lips that tells us she approves.

"Awww look at the freak trying to fit in" I hear three roughly familiar voices, I can tell they are jelous who wouldn't be, she is gorgeous and she's talented. She is the only one in this school promised a future, and then it happened the three baby cheerio's throw the blue ice all over Rachel and I see it, I hate seeing them I may order them but I try to never be there when they happen because of moments like right now. The smirk previously on Rachel's face is gone, the confidence shattered and her gorgeous eyes are closed shut with tears burning through. I look over to Mari who is just staring at me waiting for me to do something. This is it my chance to prove myself. I nod M and B towards the bathroom to clean off Rachel and I order the cheerios to stay.

I put on my best HBIC look and get ready for the show. "What the fuck do you think you are doing throwing a slushy with us three around, Do you even know what would have happened if any of that fell on our uniforms? The three of you would be stripping right now and would be off the squad.. actually you know what, tell me who planned this" Like expected the three stay quite only managing to piss me off even more. "I said who ordered the attack, answer me before your sorry asses are so far down the food chain jew fro would be slushing you".

" You aren't even our captain we don't have to take orders from you" I look over at Q and although I know she is confued as to why we are helping Rachel she nods anyways she nods.

"But I am April Now who did it?" Quinn's look right now even scares me a little so I know these girls are terrified out their minds.

"It was Stacy" the three nervous girls say simultaneously. The shorter one continued "She said that Manhands should get a reality check, that we couldn't let her believe she was anyone in this school, that she isn't, only we are.

"You guys aren't anyone just like rookies what makes you think a rookie can make decisions?" "Is stacy your captain, is she co- captain or coach?"

"No"

"Then why are orders being taken from her?" "Consider this the last warning ever, you never take orders from any one but us and Rachel Berry is from now on off limits" She looks at me for conformation and I just nod. "And so is the rest of glee club, Spread the word and let everyone know if this is broken slushy in the eyes would be a dream compared to what we would do to them. Understood?" The three girls frantically nodded their heads before we dissmissed them and headed towards the bathroom. Before we went in though Quinn stopped me. "Why did we just help berry" Because it kills me to see her hurt, because I think I may be into her like really fucking into her, because she deserves better..

"It just seemed like the right thing to do I guess.. You're christian you understand all that don't you"

"Mhm I guess" I can tell she's not convinced but I leave it alone and walk into the bathroom to find Rachel Berry dressed and still sexy as ever.

"I made Maricella bring me extra just incase this happened, I wanted to finish my statement even if a slushy attack did come my way" Her statement?

"What statement?" she just looks at me with out answering and smiles I was about to repeat my queston when my cousin interupts.

"So Brittany invited us to the sleep over to night San that's cool right?"

"Us?, I was already invited"

"I meant us as in me and Rachel" M looks and smiles at Rachel and I feel the drop again.

"Yea I hope you don't mind, Brittany is hard to say no to"

"No way, I'm not having a sleep over with man hand uh-uh"

"You gotta fucking be kidding me S we just terrified of our best rookies because of her and you don't even want to play nice. Not even for Britt?"

"Q it's not about that it's just-"

"Then you gonna tell me why the fuck I just stood out there defending her or are yo-"

"Fine ok fine one sleep over and their better be booze, oh and rachel you are soo drinking" I hear Britt shriek and Quinn smiles but Rachel's eyes I wasn't sure if it was fear laced in them or determination. I walk out of the bathroom smirking to myself, tonight should be interesting.

Quinn's POV

I don't understand why the hell Santana made me do that but I couldn't not stand behind her she is my Co-captain after all. But Berry is crazy if she thinks she is getting a smooth ride to the top. Tonight I am going to make her realize her place, shit I may even make her feel glad she's at the bottom because the top is mine, it has to be mine.. for now at least.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what you think :) How can I make it better? ; What do you think should happen? ; Next chapter is the sleepover.**


	5. Slumber parties and confessions

**This Chapter was originally two chapters but I didn't like it split in half so you guys get one extra long one. I start classes soon so I will not be updating as regularly so I'm trying to take advantage while I can and deliver. :) I tried to proofread but I probably missed a few things haha it took a while. Sorry if the writings a bit awkward for some reason it read that way but I haven't found a way to fix it. Well Enjoy guys _!**

_**Chapter 5: Slumber Parties and Confessions**_

Rachel's POV

The rest of the day was nothing like any other day. I mean I still got the weird looks and the side comments but no body insulted me to my face, there were no slushies and during gym I even got picked on a team. Not that it made a difference but it made me feel better and the unholy trinity was nicer to me well all except surprisingly Quinn. I thought Santana would be the one to lash out. Even during glee people acted different. Now i'm not stupid I know this isn't a permenent change and I know they still think just as little of me as they had yesterday but the idea that I may no longer be the school freak is satisfying enough. Maricella said I'll never go back to being teased even if I hate the new look she'd make sure of it. It's a little strange she cares especially since I barley met her, I just hope her motives are true... Who knew that all I needed was a new outfit and a Lopez.

I been sitting in my room for two hours now. Maricella had dropped by after school and after a awkward conversation about her being gay we wound up watching musical and talking. I guess even with all those rumors no one let her know I was raised by two fathers. I also let her know my sexuality was a bit fluid considering she mentioned she use to attend Memorial High I figured she had already heard. Well anyways I have been trying to convince her that I should not go to Brittany's tonight but she just won't have it. I don't think she realizes that although people were a bit different at school, I am still Rachel Berry and they are still the HBICs, the unholy trinity. She isn't having it though.

"It'll be worth it though I promise"

"I don't drink"

"First time for everything? Oh come on it'll be fun, just let go and if you feel uncomfortable we'll leave." I sigh but agree

"Fine" Her smile gets so big I'm almost annoyed I let her win but it's also a bit cute who knows maybe she's right.

Santana's POV

There's booze, the blondes are already in their Pjs and we have horror movies on loop now all we need is my annoying cousin and her new sexy short side kick. When someone knocks on the door brittany runs to it and I hear a small cheek causing me and Q both to smile knowingly. Brittany tends to squeeze her guest to near death. Moments later the tall blonde and the two most annoying brunette walk into the room. Within seconds Q is shoving a cup into Rachel's hands. I don't know what it is but I can tell it's something strong. As bad as I would like to see her drunk I don't like how easily she takes the cup because that means she is trying to trust us and I know Q is scheming I know her well enough to know. I grab rachel's cup and give her a beer.

"Walk before you run" I smile at her and point Quinn out to the hall so we can talk.

"Why the hell would you do that? We been dieing to see her wasted" I don't know how to answer without sounding pathetic so I don't and just look at her. "Santana why are we being nice to her, She is trying to take our spots. After today those mindless fucks might let her, well atleast let her get close."

"Please Q she doesn't care about our spots" I swallow and think this through but maybe it's time. "Look everything against her has to stop. For me."

"S what's going on?" I stay quite until we are in the backyard sitting on the grass.

"You care about me right?"

"What the hell? Of course I do San. What's wrong?"

"Q what if I told you I was gay would you still care?"

"What the fuck? Yes Santana Of course I would. Especially since I've known about you and B's after cheerio's routine for quite some time now" She instantly grew a smirk and laughed at me

"What? Why didn't you tell me"

"I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. But what does this have to do with manhands" I refuse to meet her eyes but fail to fight the growl that the nickname caused. "Wait? No fucking way Lopez and you into her?"

"Oh come on let's not make this a joke ok?" I see her struggle with a laugh but then get serious.

"I'm sorry ok? She did look hot today so joke's off." she smiles at me and reminds me why I deal with her fights, she really does care. She's there when it matters. "Does she know?"

"Are you kidding me?"

"True.." "No offense but is she even gay"

"I honestly have no idea but Maricella promised to find out but hasn't told me anything" She stands up and puts her hand out for me to grab.

"Wait did you just call Rachel hot?"

"You don't think she was hot today?"

"Well no shit I did, But it's funny you said that I always thought of you as some uptight straight girl"

"We all have secrets Santana now come on lets go find out what tickles Berry's berries. A traditional game of truth or dare. Rachel is about to get a trinity special" I try not to over think the beginning and just be thankful Quinn is around. Q can really be the best possible friend when she needs to be. I follow her upstairs and lay down the rules. After a few play rounds the grilling begins. It's Quinn's turn and I know she is going to to choose Rachel and by the way she's looking at her I know Rachel would be way to scared of picking a dare.

"Rachel truth or dare?"

"Dare" HA! Wasn't expecting that one. Damn the drama queen sure did grow some balls. I look at Q and lean into Q's ear. I want my answer now!.

Rachel's POV

"Are you sure that's a good idea manhands" Quinn's eyes are scaring me to bits right now but I'm suppose to be trying here right? "You know if you don't do it you'll have to take a shot right?"

"Yes now go"

"I dare you to tell us something we don't know about you yet. Sexual orientation perhaps?" I watch as both Santana and Maricella roll their eyes. What is up with today and my sexual orientation?..

"Is this some joke against my fathers?" All four of them look at me as if the comment it self hurt them. "You want me to tell all of you? Why?" I just don't want to give them that satisfaction and I don't want her to look at me differently. Plus the shot looks a bit tempting.

"Fine then.. Just tell Santana she can keep a secret" It's not a secret I just don't want her to know.. I've always wondered what a shot would feel like anyways. I reach over grab the small glass and swallow it's contents

"No thanks Why trust her it's not like she's ever opened up to me" I study santana's face and it is stone no emotion as she grabs a shots downs it as her eyes roll.

"OK Ok game over" Maricella says all of a sudden before scooting over to Santana and whispering in her ear. Whatever it is it made her smile. And then her face scrunched up as if she was thinking to hard.

Two hours of jokes and numerous beers have passed before everyone headed to bed. Only Santana and I were awake and she kept looking from her book towards me making it extremely difficult to get any sleep. Within a few seconds she walked over towards the bed where I was sharing with Brittany and began to speak in a barley audible volume.

"I understand why you don't trust me but I wanted to let you know that you can now"

"What are you talking about?"

"Earlier, during the game you said you didn't want to tell me the answer to the question and I understand I made your life hell but starting today I'm going to make it up to you?"

"Are you tired?" The moment she shakes her head I throw in another question. "Can you drive?"

"Yea, Why?"

Santana's Pov

"Get some keys Lopez, I'm going to open up to you but only if you promise to tell me something no one knows about you" "Oh and don't forget I know your cousin I will double check" She smiles and I can't help but accept.

"Deal" we quickly get into Maricella's car once I snag her keys and she begins directing me through lima.

"Where are we going"

"Just follow my directions I wanna show you some where"

"Is this the part where you kill me"

"If it was I wouldn't admit to it just yet now would I?" Her confident smirk pulls back on her lips pulling me back into my Rachel induced trance "Make a left onto this dirt road and just follow it down" she tells me to stop in front of a old building half torn down. I put on my high beams to take a better look and to make sure theres no crazies near by. Places like these isn't where I like to spend my nights.

"Fact one: I notice beauty in strange things, like this building for instance, it's large and grey and sort of dull with fallen walls in the middle of nowhere. Yet I can't tear my eyes off the moss that grows in it's corners or forget that it's the home of this adorable family of kittens. I come here every morning during my walk. I lay flowers out here in the spring. Hide out here when I upset, I find comfort in the strangest places."

"Why did you bring me here?"

"Although I have reason as to why I chose to take you here I honestly can't tell you why just yet but I was told to show you something no one else has seen and well this is it"

"Why can't you tell me?"

"Look Santana I know you don't normally consider my feelings but respect this, respect the fact I'm not ready."

"Hey, yea it's fine, I'm sorry for pushing, So I suppose it's my turn now huh?"

"Look I know just by the fact you are talking to me right now that not only are you forgiving but you are also a very trusting person, so I am going to try and trust you. But whatever is said today whatever happens after this very second stays between us ok?" "I'm serious Rachel I'm trying but turn on me and you'll wish the cheerios and the jock straps were your only problem."

"You don't have to threaten me Santana I know it's hard for you to open up, I would never do that to you."

"Ugh get in the divers side Rach, I wanna show you something."

The drive was short the barn was actually in the same old dirt road just farther down and much more deserted. I haven't been to this torn up barn since Carlos' death, there are flowers on the outside I know have been placed there by my father. "I had a younger brother, he would have been a freshmen. Carlos Manuel Lopez, Only I could call him Carlos though everyone referred to him as Manny, He thought Carlos was too stereotypical" I laugh at the memory of Carlos complaining about it, how he would joke about the fact his name was like wearing a stamp the spelled Hispanic on his forehead. "I always thought the name fit him though" tears started streaming out my eyes, I never ever cry in front of anyone outside of my family and even with family it barely happens. I don't understand why I'm so calm around her but when her hand touches my shoulder I feel lighter, almost felt a bit better. "We use to come here a lot when we were younger with our older brother Javier."

"Why did you guys stop coming?" The innocence was so pure in her voice I almost contemplated not telling her what happened. Tell her he went away to school or that we grew apart but Mari said to be honest to let her know who I am. Might as well start with her knowing the hard crap, If she can get over the fact I am the reason my brother died maybe she really could forgive me for anything.

"About a month ago I took him to his first party in the heights, He didn't want to go but I pushed, I thought it would be fu I swear I didn't know it was going to happen." I start crying and I couldn't control it anymore, I was choking on my own tears. "I was told to bring a freshmen that would be in the crew. It's just a small group of kids from the heights, Most of them go to memorial high but I grew up there you know?, So I figured why not bring my brother in, I've had so much fun with them and Mari I didn't know what was going to happen but I took him and half way through the party a fight broke out. I heard him screaming and noticed the fight was between him and one of the guys I didn't recognize him though. I heard him mention my name, I suppose that's why the fight started. Some guys in the circle started screaming 'Initiation' that's when Maricella told me we had to grab him and go, she ran towards the door and I to get him to come with me when three guys jumped on him. He panicked, tried to make a run for it but.." I start shaking my throat closes up and I can't speak anymore. I feel Rachel's hands tighten against my hips as she held me tight.

"Shh it's ok shhh, If you're not ready you don't have to finish. Santana just breath"

"No! No I have to finish" "All I heard was a loud noise my eyes closed shut I didn't wanna open them. I heard everyone start to rush out, I heard the noise again and when I opened my eyes all I saw was blood." "Maricella wasn't there when I opened my eyes I was scared and so confused. She was calling the ambulance, she called my father. I took him there, I was dumb enough to not realize what I was bringing him into Rachel I killed my brother, I took him there to die, to die or fight for survival.. I didn't know at the time but Rachel I set him up. He's gone and it's all my fault. My father can't even look at me, I hate looking in the mirror because he is all I see.".. "Please don't hate me"

"Hey stop ok?" "Santana stop! That night wasn't your fault I swear it wasn't your fault. You didn't pull the trigger you did nothing wrong. I understand you miss him but don't blame your self please? It kills me that you actually believe that."

"Why do you even care bout me?"

"Because someone has to, I'm glad it's me though" she lifts my head up and smiles. I can't stop the sudden relief I feel. "We are friends now, I trust you and I know you trust me. So trust me when I tell you that night wasn't your fault."

"We better go back to Britt's" "Look Rachel no body but me and Mari knows what happened last night and M didn't actually see what happened so please Rachel, please don't say anything" I've never felt so vulnerable. I hope I was right to trust her.

"I would never say a word. I'm glad you told someone though even if it hasn't been me I'd be happy because it needed to be out. I'm going to help you through this."

"Why do you care? I did nothing but make your life hell." We were already in the car and I waited for her response before heading to Brittany's.

"I can't explain it Santana but I just care. And you found me worthy of the truth therefore you must be worthy of my sincere friendship."

"Well thanks." We listen to music and make light conversation until I notice we are almost there and I'll have to be Satan again. "Tell anyone what a mush I been tonight and you die." I flash her a stern look then laugh to let her know I was kidding, well kinda.

"Why scared people would start to realize you aren't so bad ass Lopez?"

"Oh please Berry we both know I'm a badass."

"Mhm, Whatever you say" She says with a smile playing on her lips. She opens the door and jolts out of the car sticking her tongue out at me, testing me almost. I find myself smiling to myself before jumping out and chasing the shorted girl throughout the pierce's front lawn once I catch her I tickle her into defeat. Why I'm doing this? I don't know. But it feels right and no ones watching plus she doesn't seem to mind.

"Say I'm a badass Berry!" I smile at her while not seizing my tickle attack.

"Oh yea so badass you attack with tickles.. I've seen teddy bears more badass then you" She says while trying to keep her breath but doing a pretty bad job at it.

"Oh yea?" I tickle her even more before I realize she is about to crack. "Come on say it or I won't stop"

"Fine you are badass" I stopped the tickling and stare down at her.

"Now say bacon is amazing" She jumps onto her feet and runs into the house.

"No way Lopez I love my piggies living thank you very much." I can't help the laugh that escapes me as I follow her up stairs back into the room to find M staring at me with her eyebrows quirked and and that damn smirk playing on her lips. I lay to in my sleeping bag next to her and she leans over to whisper something to me.

"I saw you two flirting out there, whatever you did tonight I'm proud." Flirting? That wasn't flirting was it? Fuck I'm Santana fucking Lopez I know flirting. That was just friends messing around.

"We just made up, we are friends now. That's it. It wasn't flirting"

"Yea right? And Quinn is straight. You two were definitely flirting San, Shit I thought you were gonna take her Berries right there on the lawn." I smirk at the thought and laugh

"Fine blame it on the alcohol then and guess what she is straight!" I say with a bit of a laugh. My cousin is fucking insane if she believes Quinn could ever be gay. She isn't gay right?.. Fuck I don't know anything any more it's time for bed.


End file.
